Tharu Traditional Wedding

Tharu marriage are monogamous and patrilocal. Marriage occurs at quite and early age. Therefore the parents of the couple concerned arrange it. Tharus are endogamous tribe, which means marries should be done within the Tharu community but they are Gotra or clan exogamous. In Tharu community the girls or brides are usually elder than the boys or bridegroom usually by four or five years. This is because the parents wish that the daughter in law should to able to work in the field soon after the marriage. Tharus do not practice cross-cousin marriage. The two main types of marriages are quite common among Tharus.

Arranged Marriage

In arrange marriage parents usually look for the match. It is usually the girl’s parents who look for the boy. When they find an appropriate boy the girl’s parents go to the boy’s house and put forward their proposal. If the boy’s parents accept the proposal the girl’s parents give some money in the hands of a boy and return. Then boy’s parents go to the girl’s house and observe her. If they found bride not good enough they immediately return the money otherwise not. When the marriage is confirmed the girl’s parent put tika on the boy’s parent’s forehead. Then the girl’s father or the main guardian publicly announces the marriage between his daughter and proposed boy. Both parents announce their child reins name for the marriage. This ceremony is called as dudh-daan, which means that boy’s family pays certain sum of money to the girl’s mother for suckling the milk and upbringing the girl. The custom of giving money is called Jhanga giving. Sometimes the boy stays and works in the house of the girls working for the girls parents before actually marrying her. Some parents who are poor and cannot afford to pay the money arrange exchange marriage where they exchange sons and daughters. Exchange marriage therefore is quite common among Tharus.

On the day of the wedding a boy needs to under go a ritual procession for his clan deities. The boy also worships a knife, which he wonderfully has to keep with him throughout the wedding process. After worship is over he along with his kinsfolk and friends gather together and head towards the girls house. The bridegroom has to visit each and every temple in his village and also girl’s village.

When the procession reaches the girls home, the girl’s family organizes a warm reception. The bridegroom is taken before the main door of the house.They then more around grinding stone set and madani and burn oil seed in the fire. After welcome and warm reception bridegroom is taken inside the house. The people read aloud the name of a temple. Then the groom is taken to the people who have come for the procession and has to spend the night there. People sing, dance and enjoy with local women.

At dawn the groom leaves the company and returns home and waits for the bride to be taken to him. The bride is sent only after the moonrise or after dusk. The bride is put on a Doh and carried towards the groom’s house. The bride is given a poison and a butter lamp. This is given because if someone tries to attack and capture her she should run away with the help of lamp and if she could not escape away she should drink poison and die. This was mainly practiced by the Rana Tharus and copied by others.

By some reason if the bridegroom cannot go to the bride’s house he can send the knife as his representative.

As soon as the bride reaches the grooms house, female members of the groom welcome her with a pot full of glowing embers, a lamp, a water pot (Kalash) and cottonseeds. They throw rice over the bride and the groom who has joined her recently. The groom then sprinkles some vermilion powder Sindur over the knife, which he has carried with him and then on the bride’s forehead. Both the bride and grooms head are lightly knocked with each other thrice and finally they enter the house. They both go the Deurhar of the family where the groom sticks his knife into the ground. Then a short ritual is followed and both worship altar of the clan deity.

The bride takes a bottle of liquor, a straw mat and a pig’s head when she returns back to her natal home. The bridegrooms family member’s also accompany her and pay respect to the bride’s family member’s. This is called exchange of kinship relations or Nata pherne in Tharu dialect. The bride stays in her natal house for two to three years more. Then finally she goes and lives with the husband and his family.

Divorce is common and simple among Tharus. If a brother dies his widow can get married with the deceased persons younger brother-blj/-. If younger brother is not available then the mother-in-law and father-in-law find a good match for their widow daughter-in-law and send her with the person and treat the women as their daughter and her new husband as a son. This is called entering of Bhwar.